taylrock

I'm a 20 year old American male. I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and Pervasive Development Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified. Ever since I started taking medication, it hasn't worked. Med "V" has worn off over the years. Med "A" zombified me emotionally. Med "T" made me angry all of the time. Med "R" does absolutely nothing. Med "L" made me agitated, then constipated, and now gave me a full body rash! I'm sick of medicine. Although, earlier this year, I discovered the cannabis plant. I know it alters my mind, but there are benefits. It makes me happy. It makes me forget my disorders. It makes me talk to people more. It makes me have incentive to take care of my body and exercise. It makes me hungry when I otherwise would have fasted. It makes me more in touch with nature and my soul. It makes me think about solutions to my problems. It makes me creative and musical. I have seen in the media that it stops seizures and prevents the progression of Alzheimer's disease, among many other things. Unfortunately modern medicine and healthcare is dictated by huge companies in the United States, and and any mind altering practice, substance, abilities, or powers that are not manifested by their creations is considered insane or illegal. I'm tired of listening to my regular doctors. In history it has been shown that we as a social species have used marijuana since we were tribal and possibly way before that. I am trying to find a doctor that agrees with me and has actually studied the properties and social implications of this plant. My family, so far, supports me.

1- I was adopted
2- I didn't want to turn 4 when I was 3 and was really angry about it :3
3- I have Bipolar Disorder
4- Even though it may seem like it, I don't really care too much about what i wear
5- I had braces once
6- My favorite dinner is steak and potatoes
7- My second favorite dinner is gnocchi (italian pasta potato thingies)
8- I LARP (for now)
9- my hair is always a mess, no matter how much I try to fix it
10- I recently became single again
11- My eyes are light blue
12- I have a bad funny habit of saying "Herpaderp" at random times
13- I used to play guitar
14- At one point in my life, my nickname was Dilbert and I hated it
15- I still don't know why my nickname was Dilbert
16- I once danced in a horse head mask with a viking helmet and a purple cloak
17- My favorite band is/was the Gorrilaz
18- My sister made the final decision on my name as a baby when she was 7
19- My favorite icecream is Perry's ice cream "piece of cake" flavor
20- I experiment with making food
21- One of my favorite movies is Spirited Away
22- I sprain my ankle a lot
23- I have a beard and mustache and I hate shaving but i hate my neck-beard just as much
24- I have a heavy hand when it comes to art
25- I want to make wooden jewelry
26- I think I might be addicted to skull images
27- I don't like other bones
28- I have a weak nervous system when it comes to talking about /thinking about / seeing blood too much and sometimes pass out (vasovagal syncope)
29- I'm 5' 7.25" tall
30- I'm 7 years younger than my only sister

After a long time, I was going to make something artistic again by typing some free verse and posting it a s lit.
But theeeeen the site just decides to reload the page to my messages and I lose all the things I said.  It was going to be a vignette of something I just felt internally.

So much for motivation and support ...

I need to draw more stuff, but I'm not that creative anymore and inspiration  doesn't come easy;
so I ask you this..... can you please reply to this journal, message me, or comment on my page with something to draw and I'll try it

I have literally typed and printed out goals to draw something every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, but I'm depressed....

1: Picture of yourself
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.co… yup... that's definitely me
but seriously.... fav.me/d3egx5n except not cartoon and with less hair now

2: A description of my self-esteem
rarely high, but good enough for now that I can be pretty much motivated for most things

3: My favorite book
either the Series of unfortunate Events series[not exactly one], Catcher in the Rye, or Great Gatsby

6: Most famous person you've met been around
blue man group guy, but everyone knows there's more than 3

7: What I want to be when I'm older
any type of professional in a techy or artistic field [preferably both]; a happy dude

8: My relationship(s) with my sibling(s)
awkward and prone to disagreement

9: Relationship status?
taken .....

10: What I did yesterday
derp....

11: What I'm doing today
derping late [extremely early] then sleepin'

12: What I'm doing tomorrow
workin' on getting flights arranged some more, play guitar, derp, work on gettin' job

13: Most embarrassing moment
all of middle school

14: Description of who I like
people who take things seriously, but still know how to have fun and actually try in life

15: Biggest insecurities?
any type of loss that will devastate me

16: Something I wish I could change about myself
my paranoia, acne, weight control, strength, or stern nature

17: I'll love you if...
you are true to me and care about my existence.....and make my life fun and allow me to do the same

18: Something I'm really good at
bein' random or dirty

19: Something I'm really bad at
keepin' a straight face when imma' tryin' to get attention in a sillay' way

20: What I wish for at 11:11
for 11:11 to go away cuz it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaawkwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard

21: A reason I've lied to a friend
cuz i wanted to sound cool or actually didn't know jack-schite about the topic of discussion

22: Favorite Movie
.........don't ever ask me this in person....or online

23: Something that has made you mad recently
parents


24: A random fact about yourself
i can actually ride my bike with no handlebars for a while if there's little incline, and can even turn up to 90º corners if i can go slow without gettin' run over...i make wide 90º angle turns